Couple years later, we meet again my dear friends. I hope all is well, hope you’re enjoying ALMOST FALL/ALMOST WINTER. I’m excited for fall - don’t have to mow! I’m also excited for winter, just not interested in the snow bit when it gets bad, but it’s all exciting.
These past few weeks have been rough for the soul If I’m been honest. In fact, the past month was as well with stress and other things but I get up and keep going. The kids are growing well and watching them do kids things brings me joy everyday. My first born turns 15 months in a few days and Second born - 2 months in a week. The little miracles brought joy to me while my heart was deep in pain for the past few weeks. I also wrote the piece you’re about to read during the rough period I experienced.
Before you dive in, do take your time to subscribe! I have more stories, essays, poems that’ll be published soon. God Willing. And of course, If you like fiction, check out my debut Novella EMELIA on AMAZON.
Okay, Let’s Dive In!
What will you do? I was asked!
I looked out to what’s running towards me, to devour me.
I stood. Fear looked the fastest. I could feel it running through my body and into my soul once it gets here. Still, I smiled.
“Mate, they’re still ways out from me. I shall sit on the beautiful grass, close my eyes and pray. And I shall wait.”
“You’ll wait for them to devour you?”
“No,” I began to pray, “I will wait on the Lord.”
As I prayed and worshipped, I saw my early years. I saw the shame that devoured me for my sins. Shamed laughed at me and all laughed at me for it. Fear came as well back then. The inability to be myself, to move as I wished brought me pain as I chose the life of Conformity. Becoming what everyone wanted me to be. Fear took me by the neck and made sure I conformed. I took no ventures back then as the questions of success and failure was brought into my soul.
“Will I succeed? What if they ridicule me?” These thoughts flooded my head back then when fear was near. And more of his friends came, taking a piece out of my soul whenever they wish till a tiny piece of my soul was left screaming these words:“DEATH, YOU’RE NEXT. TAKE ME! TAKE ME NOW! Pain came, Shame came, Abuse came, Hate came. Death why don’t you come now?”
It was better for me to seek death than to experience being devoured by what life brought to me. The pain, the shame, loneliness, lost, and more. I couldn’t take it anymore.
In the midst of wishing for death, a tiny piece of light began to put my soul together. Piece by piece. I was not to be devoured by darkness. I began to see the little moments in which I smiled - more of that and I was made whole. I was given new life. So yes, I will sit on this beautiful grass created for me by my Shepard and wait on the Lord.
I opened my eyes and saw the darkness and his friends getting closer to me. I stood, stretched out my arms, “The Lord of Isaac has granted me victory over you! The lord of Jacob has brought me to this place to let you know that you SHALL have no stronghold in my life so COME ON darkness and your friends, do as you wish and see if you won’t be destroyed.” I smiled as I finished uttering those words, confident in the power that I lean on, the power that renews my strength.
“So that’s why you pray and wait.”
“That’s why I pray and wait. I have been set free. Look at how they run. How fast they flee seeing the power that lives within me. Great is the Lord that is with me!”
Thank you for reading my friends. I hope you enjoy the read and hope you have a wonderful rest of the week! Don’t do anything crazy! Stay Blessed!
Till Next Time
gkgaius
Deo Volente
