MY BEST FRIEND FEAR
Early on in life, I met him through the weapons my father held in his hands to discipline us. I met him when I saw my older brother’s eyes bleeding and later on when my younger brother was crying on the floor as the broom hit him. I became close to fear and he told me everything that would happen if I didn’t bring home to my father a report card that said 1st Place or do the things he wishes for me to do. What would happen if I wasn’t a good kid? He told me that I could end up like my brother - sent away to relatives. As I grew older, he would tell me exactly what could happen to me. He would tell me of the pain, sorrows and more. And so I listened. I did what he expected of me to avoid the pain, the sorrows and more. Fear and I became best friends. He protected me and I thank him for it, but now I found someone else so I must let go of my best friend.
My old pal fear
feared I might
let him go
-shocking-
So he called me
to the cliff
we met to talk
And asked, "Why?"
"Why are you letting me go?"
I saw the tears in his eyes.
"I found love."
I told him
And he screamed
"LOVE BLINDS YOU
gaius."
"LOVE BLINDS US ALL."
"So does fear."
I said.
I felt the need to push him off the cliff that day. I didn’t because I saw in his eyes that I might need him someday. Will I need him someday? Or more so the fact that even if I pushed him off, He wouldn’t die anyways.
I let go of the friendship that protected me because I didn’t want protection anymore. Because I found Love. Love told me that fear’s protection has cost me so much in life with his words “gk, Save Yourself. Save yourself from pain. She’ll die someday. They’ll forget about you someday.” And so I listened. Oh, I listened to my dear fear. I saved myself from the pain. But no more. I let go of fear because his protection made me miss life itself. Now I look to love. And he makes me understand the fact that “you can’t always run from life, and you shouldn’t.” There will be much pain in life - so embrace it. The heart beats for life. It doesn’t beat so you can hide from life. I still see my best friend protecting me from a distance, but I make sure to keep choosing love not fear so I can experience what this life and this dream are really about.
Till Next Time,
Deo Volente
gk gaius
