By gk gaius,

Published on Dec 8, 2022   —   3 min read


I’m guessing this is a series. The first can be found in the piece called LIFE ITSELF. Before we begin, however, I want to thank you all for your support since I got back to publishing my works! Huge Hurrah goes to everyone at STSC for their warm welcome back into the club. And for their support of my debut novella. After these months, I’ve finally taken the time to get some things in order. I’ll be publishing Longer Series Monthly - meaning pieces like IN TOO DEEP will be published on the 1st of every month. I’ll keep publishing weekly pieces every Wednesday or Thursday. Yearly, I’ll seek to publish a Novel, Novella. Daily, I’ll write about my journey in life and all the things I’m learning. Everything can be found at

And last, I’ve turned on the option for monthly or yearly subscriptions on Substack. I have no special offers with it being turned on yet. Nothing will be going behind the paywall. If you do wish to support me by subscribing monthly or yearly, that’s appreciated. That is all I have for announcements/introductions. Thank you once again for your support. It’s something I’ll never forget.


We met and then we fell in love. Each day, we would meet somewhere nice. We would talk, and do lovely things together. Weeks after, the thoughts began to creep in from my best friend fear. “What if she dies overnight?” He would say. “What if she cheats on you? What if she becomes just one more thing to lose?” What if! what if! what if! and my heart began to wrap itself with bulletproof glass. There’s no way I’d risk it getting shattered for her. No way! And so I’d meet with Vanessa less. I’d make excuses. With fewer meetings, she lost interest and we went our separate ways.

“Oh thank God! Now I won’t have to worry about her dying. Now I won’t have to worry about her cheating. Now I won’t have to Lose her to Death.” Soon after this, my heart began to ache despite the fact that I made sure she wouldn’t hurt me. The bulletproof glass broke and let in pain.

It left me questioning if my “what ifs” were worth it. It left me questioning if I should have let nature take its course instead of thinking too much about what could happen. If I should listen to my best friend…

Vanessa and I never talked again and I opened my eyes to Reality. To Life Itself.


Close to the end of this life of mine, my heart will stop pumping blood and lose its beat. So why try to fight it? Why not enjoy life for what it really is: Heartbreak after Heartbreak? Love after Love? Who knows but God? The people around me will die someday. Someone will hurt me at some point and more. I do know though that someone will love me, someone will protect my heart. I lost Vanessa because I was scared of my heart-shattering. In the same way, I would have lost the will to write if I was scared of the criticism I would receive (My Best Friend still creeps in to talk to me about the worst things that could happen in life). So I ask myself: What’s the point of living if there’s no risk at all? And I answer: I lose out on what really matters.

Fear reaches out to help us, but in doing so hurts us even more. It comes with good intent, and from time to time actually helps. But let go of its hand and reach out to something bigger, reach out to Love. Chances are in life, you will get hurt but at least you’ll be experiencing life for what it really is. If she dies or lives, God decides that. All you have to do is focus on living, and loving. And like always, Life happens to us all.

Thank you for reading, and for taking the time to dive in today. I appreciate you so much.
If you like what you’ve read, subscribe and share with a friend.


Share on Facebook Share on Linkedin Share on Twitter Send by email

Subscribe to the newsletter

Subscribe to the newsletter for the latest news and work updates straight to your inbox, every week.