Read, but understand that it's a rollercoaster

By gk gaius,

Published on Feb 4, 2024   —   4 min read



well, for me it was

This I consider to be a reflection thus far. ENJOY. But before you do, subscribe to the words whispers :)

I feel lost a lot of the time because I’m constantly seeking so much for myself and from the world. Maybe how I was raised up? Who knows? I found you, writing, through a wonderful teacher that brought joy into my heart and I am glad that I continued. As I’ve been writing all these years, it’s time to fully focus on everything the way it should be. I want to write about something yet it evades me when the time came. It’s telling me no - you can’t write about me, not yet at least. So I’ll write whatever it is I wish to write today.

About the future - it’s too read a lot more - surely - because of the joy I get to from diving a world that isn’t reality. Or is it? A human wrote it after all. Regardless, it’s to read a lot more and to get deeper with words I write. For my sake? Well, yes, I think it’s a beautiful thing to grow deeper in my relationships with words and not only will this benefit me, it’ll benefit people who read my words. Oh the wonderful people that do read my words.

I like you! Yes, I do. I like you not because I have to like you, but because I like you. Okay, I love you and I like you. Because you bring light into my world. You bring love into your life . Like God brought love, you brought me love. You sacrifice your time for my words and how beautiful it is. How it makes my heart glad and my eyes teary. Lately, I’ve been getting somewhat emotional - getting to know my feeling a lot more I should say. To be intense with them. I open up more and allow myself to be hurt and I find myself having conversations with my loved ones that I wouldn’t have had were it be any other day. I find myself not going into a quiet room, curling myself up and breathing and thinking and (I said and a few times to see what happens) anyways back to it, very glad I am to be able to open up emotionally even though it’s quite against the red dot male’s standards. Which is fine because I find myself growing as a human that wants to be overtaken by love. To love so much that I’m willing to sacrifice myself.

That paragraph made me quite emotional but I continue. It’s not that I’m crying 24/7. As if emotions means crying only. It’s that I’m letting emotions feel me. When I’m joyful, I’M JOYFUL! When I’m sad, I’M SAD. Angry hasn’t taken me yet, to be honest I’m not sure I have the capability to have a a nose that burns. It’s not within me. Or maybe I should say that I do recognize angry when he comes, but I don’t have a conversation with him. So am I really in with my emotions? You know what, it doesn’t matter. I feel like I’m all over the place now so I’ll move on to a few things On my mind.

Conversations with people are getting better. I communicate to learn and also to make sure that I’m understanding life itself. Life is a conversation after all right?

I’m truly all over the place now. So I’ll get to it: I’m learning to be human again. My kids are making me more human, watching Bluey (yes, bluey) is making me more human. It’s amazing a show like Bluey was created in today’s world. I’ve noticed a few people hate the idea of Bandit always playing with his kids and some do say “but it’s not reality” because Dads are at work, working their butts off and don’t have time to play with their kids. To me, it’s opened me up to play more with my kids. And when they’re tired and asleep, I can do my own things. As I wrap this long without meaning (maybe it does have meaning) words, okay it does have meaning imo, I want to say that I do appreciate you dear reader. You are beautiful and someone like you is rare. So thankful for your love and I love you for reading the words of mine.

I plan on continuing my journey as a writer by changing my plans for the year by publishing once a week and fully diving in with my novels. Two (now I feel like I’m selling you something) yet I shall continue. Because you read my words, I hope you understand this: I’ll be publishing once a week and will dive into my novels. I plan on publishing two this year and will talk about them as the days go by. The series that are FATE & IN TOO DEEP will be paused so I can focus on my 2 babies that are BAZAROV and - anyways now how do I end this? Not sure.

I feel like this piece was rambled throughout and I hope you forgive me for doing such thing to you.

Till Next Time,


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