“I am glad you and I found each other many years ago. Glad we connected and became intimate, and now, after these long years together, the thoughts of if we’d last together has been brought up.”
“Because of the sexual poem you wrote a while back?”
FLIGHT
“No, but before I get to it, I must travel back to the dreams of old. Footballer in the Premier league or in La Liga, playing with Messi or Iniesta and more. That dream got crushed early on before I could test myself - that dream got crushed before I found writing. I gave up at the edge of the cliff instead of jumping so I could find out if I was a chicken or a bird. The unattainable. The dream of playing in the world cup, at wembley stadium, at the Camp Nou haunted me. The men I looked up to were far from me. My steps took me into a fog - What can I do now in life?
Then, I found you while roaming in the fog, in the world of the unattainable dreams. I found you to be alluring and so I chased after you, found you - and now, after many years together, the question roams my mind.
When I saw you, you smiled at me like the ball did. When I found you, you teased me and I fell in love.
"SO - why now? Why am I thinking we might not last now?"
Because the idea of flight was proposed? - She whispers to me a while back.
“I pondered about that for many days - why now and most importantly, what does this even mean? To fly? To Soar? What if I do soar but perish like Icarus? Or am I just scared that I wouldn’t soar? Maybe that’s what it is? Maybe I’m just scared of another dream being crushed.
So, What does it mean to fly? Where exactly do you want to go? How high do you want to go that leaves you so scared?
“Why do you ask me these questions?”
“Because I need to know where your heart lies. Where does your heart lie?”
“Another trip down memory lane brought me to a football publication I started in high school with a friend of mine. I wrote daily about football and how beautiful the game was. My articles were fantastic and fame was near. I could meet my heroes this way.”
“And you stopped because you got scared!”
“I did. I grew my publication and I got scared so I deleted it all.”
“Continue down memory lane.”
“After I deleted the publication, I realized that another dream was lost. I had jump off the cliff but refused to believe I was a bird so I gave up on flapping my wings. But you saved me from losing my heartbeat. The sweet words of yours enticed me and I began to write without caring too much about the thoughts of the world, and I met a few writers that helped me.”
“Then you gave me up for the first time.”
“I remember that - why am I doing this?”
“You found me, chased me, got me, then you dropped me because you were scared of failing and into the fog you went again.”
“Thanks for reminding me.”
“You judged yourself before you performed. And then collapsed.”
“OKAY! I ran from you because I thought I might be quite bad at this. I might never be like Rowling in fame and money. I might never make it to be like Shakespeare, or Turgenev.”
“You chased me because you thought you could gain fame and money?”
“Am I supposed to starve then? But no, I chased you because of your smile and how much you made my heart beat.”
“So shall we give up again?”
“Well, can we achieve anything together?”
“We can only find out by jumping off the cliff and flapping our wings. Shall we jump?”
“Chicken or Bird, which are we? Will we fly or fall? If we do fall, shall we perish?And fly, shall we perish for if We fly too high, We fall likeIcarus!
Am I worthy? Worthy to at least fly?
And if I do fly,What shall I become? A fraud? A Master? What will become of my identity?”
“So we shall jump then right or will you continue to ask questions and then walk back into the fog like you’ve always done?”
“I can’t forsake you anymore so I shall jump and see for sure if we can fly together.”
She smiled and so did I.
The conversation inspired by the idea of flight thus ends.
Thanks for reading.
Till next time,
gkgaius
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